So, for no reason, late one night, I had an urge to write an angel-based chapter for a story. Sometimes I do this when compiling future book ideas, and sometimes I have an idea and save a cover for it to bookmark the plan. So, because I wrote it until late into the AMs I figured I would share this rough draft with you and ask who would read an angel-based romance.
It’s not my usual direction but this inspiration hit me out of the blue and love the idea of an angel and a fallen angel separated by a choice, but then having to work against one another to keep balance and order.
Chapter 1 (rough draft)
“Your choice was Lucifer…. You have all lost your way and now must pay the consequences. There is no forgiveness in this! Your punishment is set, and there’s no coming back from it.” Castah pushes Runa away from him with a force that reverberates through the room, and he stumbles back. Having been standing his ground and arguing this outcome and its unjustness.
His wings are thrown wide to steady himself, not losing his footing even if he has slipped back several feet. Maintaining his death glare on our superior. Castah making space with a blast of energy meant to disable those trying to escape the chaos around us and not holding back from harming those of us innocently spectating. Guards are pushing in Angelics from every door as many of us witness this cruel end.
Today is the day Castah, head of the sentinels, carries out the ruling from father on those who have betrayed his love.
Based on Castah’s rage and betrayal, we are all hit with a second blast ball to discourage more like Runa from challenging him. A boom of wind and force. My legs give out, and I topple with everyone in the great hall to a cluttered mess on the floor, crying out in anguish as the burn of his force eats through us. Like a sonar explosion, my wings instinctively come around me to shield myself from the pain. A veil of fluffy white softness embraces me, feathers ruffling and soothes the intensity of impact before they flop down around my hips and legs in fatigue. I once again view the catastrophe of seeing our kin leaving us.
My heart is shredding like it’s being torn apart. My tears are endless, and my body throbs. Begging with sincerity for the forgiveness of those who do not yet see the error of their ways. We cannot let them go. We cannot see them torn out like an unwanted splinter and cast aside. They are ours.
Fat droplets roll down my face as we witness the banishment of our brethren. The ripping apart of our kind whose sole purpose for existence was to be united in peace and harmony and to serve our father. To guard what he created and push the love and kindness of his vision. Not this, not the destruction of our souls. Not seeing them thrown down to a world they have no understanding of and castrated from his love and protection. They won’t survive. They don’t know how.
“Please Castah….They don’t know what they’re doing. Lucifer has twisted their minds into believing they are treated as worthless beings of servitude and that humans are the only loved creations of our lord. Once he’s gone, give them time….to come to their senses. To see the truth.” Leeno begs at the feet of our superior, her soft white wings tucked back and low as a sign of submission behind her flowing white robes on the pale marble floor, but he is not willing to listen.
“They betrayed our father…. they will reap the rewards of following their new leader. Lucifer and his first followers are already banished to the mortal world. Let them find their own place with those they want to corrupt.” Castah is filled with a venom that we rarely see. As one of the four horsemen who serves father, he has never been as pure as us, the angels of love and light. He’s capable of anger and hostility, showing fully now.
“He doesn’t want to corrupt them… he wants to save them. He wants to free them from this indoctrinated slavery that father demands .” Malachi is brave in getting to his feet and firing back words like poison arrows. I cover my ears and cry silently, praying for him to bring them all to their senses. These words I have heard repeated by Runa these last days bring fear and anger.
Lucifer is a rebellious angel with a sense of grandeur and self-love that was never ingrained into our creation. He thinks god loves his mortals beyond us, and we are just vessels made to serve and protect them. He has convinced many we are so unworthy to be near his human children that we are never allowed in the world he created for them. He believes we dwell in the space and heavens around his precious planets because we do not deserve our own sanctuary. He is twisted and cannot see how ridiculous that is. So many of our kin have listened and believe in what he says. Calling into question why we are so worthless to our father.
Lucifer has fornicated with his other, Deliah… they committed a sin by laying together like humans do and profess to have emotions for one another that are not of sister and brother for which we were told we are. Father has always told us that we are of one kind and one creation, and our love for one another is pure and of children. We are raised in unity as siblings, and what Lucifer has done has brought shame to the heavens. An act reserved only for mortals who need to create a new life of their own. We are forbidden from such things. It’s punishable by destruction.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re the ones who need to be freed from this foolishness. You have thrust a sword in the heart of the one who gave you life. You are despicable.” Castah lifts his hand, the energy emanating in a powerful white globe as it builds, and Runa once again gets to his feet. Defiant to the last, he stands tall and strong against Castah, opening his vast wings wide and flexing them to show he will fight to the end. His dark hair falls over his flawless face, his skin moist with sweat from the pain inflicted on us, his body tense, and his muscles rigid. On show from the way his robes have been torn in the battle to be brought here. Runa is a perfect specimen, made in his image like all of us were. Physical perfection. I can’t tear my eyes from him, breaking inside because I don’t know how to stop him.
I have tried. Weeping, begging, talking to him endlessly since this began, he refuses to yield. I am the only one who can ever sway him in all things, but in this, even I failed.
I know we don’t have much time left. The trial is done, the punishment set and father has turned his back in broken-hearted pain on those who have betrayed him. Refuses to see them or us. Now we are here to watch them leave our heavens and forever roam in a world we cannot touch. My eternal life will be an empty shell without my other to serve by my side in this realm.
“Runa, no, please.” I reach for him, grabbing his hand, holding on with fear, and hoping I can sway him. It’s not too late. He hasn’t done anything that won’t earn forgiveness.
I can’t breathe through the hysteria at knowing this will be the last time I see him if he chooses to follow the word of that serpent blindly. They have been condemned and won’t ever return. Father will never change his mind. The wound cuts too deeply.
“If you are one of the banished, what am I to do?” I sob at him.
He turns to me with a teary-eyed waver of emotion and regret. Furrowed brow as he focuses on my face and then tugs his wrist out of mine as though my touch burns him. Stubborn determination in the set of his beautiful jaw. Dark eyes match the dark shadow that has taken hold of his heart. I can feel the agony of his choice pulsating at me. So in tune with the one who shares my very being.
“Siyu, come with me…… Lucifer is offering another way. We can be free from these chains. We will also have a will of our own. Like the mortals, we can choose how to live. We can choose how to love…. We can have freedom over our own emotions and actions. We can stop fighting how much we mean to one another. Choose how we spend our days.” His pleading expression tears my heart in two. My eyes fill with tears rolling down my face, and my heart shatters. The pain of his words, knowing he means to follow Lucifer and Deliah in their sins, scars me. Defiling our bond and leading me astray.
“I can’t…. I don’t want to follow him. It’s wrong…this is not who we are or what we were made for.” I grab for his wrist again, aware that Castah is opening a portal in the wall of the main hall and sending all angels who follow the word of a turned brother into a world we’ve never been allowed to touch. The dust clouds, particles, and stars appear out into the empty space of nothingness with a distant view of the beloved planet they are to aim for. Fear grips me as time ticks slowly away.
“Don’t do this… don’t leave me.” He can’t. We were formed from a singular speck of stardust, him and me. We are destined to always be side by side in serving our father. He is the other half of me. We share one soul as father intended. Centuries with him always beside me, since our creation…I don’t know how to cope without him. We have never parted.
“I can’t stay. I’m sorry. Siyu…… I can’t go on living this way. Not for eternity. Not standing by your side while you only obey. My loyalty and faith are destroyed. My eyes have been opened, and my sight is clear. We too have a right to free will.” He steps away from me, a symbolic stance, and closes his wings behind his back, so they tighten into his body. His eyes are blurred with unshed tears, too, but he has shut off his heart from me, and I see only his stubborn will before my eyes. Lucifer has taken him from me.
The wall is now open wide, and the view of the galaxy beyond is swirling and blurring due to the moisture in my eyes. I hold my breath. Claw at my chest to combat the agony within my heart. Panic soaring threw me like a fire. And with one close of my eyes to take a steady breath, a white light explodes, stinging my eyes even through my lids, and all fifty of our kin disappear in the blink of an eye, like a puff of smoke or a sudden silence.
“Runa?” I blink my lashes apart in shock, staring at the few scattered others like me who are still on the floor. A vast empty hall where a moment ago it was crowded with bodies. An eerie quiet as the dark space outside shrinks and the hole is concealed almost as fast as their disappearance happened. Castah stands, hands wide, and closes the door.
Impulse takes over, and I spring to my naked feet, robes tangling in my legs as I run for the blank wall that’s no longer open to the outside and throw my body against it. I collide with speed and intent, smashing my bones into it and grabbing wide and clawing to open it somehow back up.
“RUNA!!!! RUNA!!! RUUUUUNNNNAAAA.” I scream in anguish, joined by others like me, calling the names of their others with devastation. Crushing internal carnage rips through my chest and stomach, and I collapse to my knees, hands, and face flat to the smooth cold surface and wail out. Banging and slapping at it aimlessly.
“Where did they go?” Yarrow cries at Castah’s feet. Her dark skin streaked with the evidence of her heartbreak. Like me, her other chose to follow Lucifer while she stayed true.
“The planet he calls earth. Lucifer leads that rabble of unwanteds where they will wander and find their own path now. Father has allowed them to live and keep their gifts, but their wings and eyes will be darkened with the sin of this betrayal. To match the black mark they have put on his heart. Their pure natures are corrupted now, and they shall still have to carry that shame for eternity. Lucifer shall no longer be an angel with his brothers cast down….they shall be known as the demons who stabbed their lord in the back. They have shamed Angelics, and we will forget about them. Like they never existed.” Castah dusts off his hand, steps over the broken form of a weeping sister, and then walks out, clicking his fingers for the sentinels standing around the hall border to follow. He has no remorse for what he just carried out. No empathy for what he’s just done. He followed a command. The balance has been restored in his mind, and his conscience is clear.
Lucifer and his battle against his father lasted only days when he stood up and rebelled. Sweeping chaos through our ranks, and now we are fifty lost in just one moment of breath.
I feel like I’m being tortured inside with searing hot pokers. Unable to shift the heaviness of this pressing and aching pain inside of me. My mind is focused only on the vision of the last seconds of Runa before he was taken into vapor and thrown away. To that world, we see from afar. The one we cannot touch. We are forbidden from getting close to.
“I changed my mind… send me too… I want to follow him. Send me too.” I scream after the departing figure, hysteria gripping me, and Castah pauses in the open doorway, framed by the vast arches. His eyes find me and lock on in a steady and unwavering gaze.
“Follow who? Lucifer or Runa?” He asks with a cocked eyebrow and turns his head fully my way. A serious expression and unreadable pinch to his mouth. He seems thoughtful for a moment.
“Runa….. I want to follow Runa.” I weep, unable to lift my weary body, but I will beg on my knees if it’s what he asks of me. My hands are shaking, and my legs are too weak to hold my weight.
Castah smiles softly, eyes and mouth relaxing, and a gentleness overtakes him instead.
“Dearest Siyu, you are not a betrayer of father. I have no reason to send you after them. In your own words….. your devotion to your other is perfectly natural. Born of one grain. This pain shall pass. Father will make sure of it. For all of you. Runa will become a distant memory, and you will find happiness again in the tasks he bestows upon you.” Castah claps his hands, commanding that the guards leave, and he follows, with no intention of hearing me out. Leaving us in his midst.
We are left to grieve. Some fifteen of us came here to try and stop our significants in one last plea. Fifteen of us severed from our soul’s other side. We may be thousands in number, so a mere fifty is barely a drip in the ocean. But to us, the only singular ones that mattered were taken.
“What do we do now?” Yarrow wails, matching my intense hurt.
“We do what we have done for centuries. We just do it alone or with one another. We obey our father. We continue serving …….. we mourn, and we forget them. They betrayed us all.” Kristya pulls herself to stand, smooths her robes, adjusts them to her left shoulder, and wipes the tears from her face. “They chose this. They left us….. They chose Lucifer.” Her voice hardens, as does the steel in her eyes as her wounds show fiercely for what she feels is a direct betrayal from Trion, her now-banished other. Her words and anger are evidence of the depth of her heartbreak.
“How can I forget him?” I murmur into my chest, my chin down, and I watch the drips of tears fall into my lap and soil the pureness of my skirts.
“By remembering what sins he wanted you to commit….. that he abandoned you. He wanted you to follow that black mark and become selfish. Lucifer imagines himself as god and wants to rule as father does….he has vanity and self-importance that poisons the weak. Runa was one of those, and you have to be strong to overcome what space you give him in your heart.” Kristya scolds me, but I know the words are for herself too. She is giving herself a reason to take Trion out of her heart.
I do not respond. Unable to accept it. Runa was the light in my existence. The only one who I felt myself with and could lean on and depend on. He understood me like no other, and we shared a true bond. From birth until now, three hundred years, serving by his side. I know him better than anyone, and he’s not bad. He’s not selfish or cruel.
“Lucifer won’t lay still among the mortals…neither will Deliah. She, too, has a toxic need to live a sinful life and exert power over others. Her whispers in his ear made Lucifer turn this way. Give it time…..father won’t sit back and watch them run amock among his children, causing mayhem.” Ranyal is one of the few who did not cry. And stayed composed by a wall while her other chose to leave. She didn’t even try to stop him.
“What do you mean?” Kristya is now sitting with her legs under her, stroking her left wing as it wraps like a blanket about her body. Her aura is pale, and her usual luminous glow has faded with her sadness.
“Lucifer won’t leave the humans alone. He has always been jealous of father’s love for them….they will be his toys. His object to vent it all out. And what will father do when he sees that kind of carnage among his favorite creations?” Ranyal smirks as though this is all very obvious to her, and I calm myself to listen and stare at her pretty face, framed by soft blonde ringlets.
“What will he do?” I ask in numbness as a strange sense of fatigue and emptiness comes over me. Tears drying, and a hole growing in my heart.
“He’ll protect them, of course. Like he does with his beings up here. He’ll send us….. to shelter and shield his precious mortals. Rethink his rules about keeping us from them.”
“He has never let angels walk that land among them.” I point out, distracted by this.
“He has never banished our kind down there either…. and Lucifer is the worst. He will play with those little mortals and whisper in their ears, twist their brains.”
“What can we do if Lucifer brainwashes them as he did our others? We couldn’t even stop them. How could we stop humans?” Kristya, like me, has reservations about this theory. All of us sat in emotional shock from what just happened, and I cannot get my head around the reality that Runa is gone…. I don’t want to think about it anymore. My world has lost its light, and I am empty.
Those sitting further away shuffle closer, some walk to us and group in, and the sad energy radiates around us painfully. It seems many heard her words and are curious. Maybe for some, it’s a slight ray of hope to get back what we lost.
“You think we might see them again? If this happens…If Lucifer harms the mortals or manipulates them?” Bjork kneels beside me, patting my shoulder to show his sympathy for my brokenness. His own eyes are misted with tears, and I can feel his anguish at losing Marnah. He was close to Runa, too, so he probably feels I am some comfort.
“He never intervenes himself. If he were going to, he would have turned Lucifer to dust and not banished him. That’s why he made us…..So yes, if Lucifer messes with his humans, I believe we will see our others again…and finally be allowed to walk the hallowed land that keeps his children breeding.”