I have always been someone that people have asked advice of, since an early age. I became known for my level headed outlook on life and was trusted in all manner of personal issues. I have a lot of life experience, and my honest attitude, logical way of seeing any scenario meant that over the years I have received many requests for advice through social media. Anyone who gets to know me, knows that I always give my best advice wholeheartedly and am always there to be an ear and shoulder to cry on. It has gained me many friends across the sea’s for years and I felt it was time I extended the efforts. I will post one ‘Letters to Leanne’ blog a week, from 1 to 3 letters each time, from the many emails and messages I receive with your consent. To have advice published please contact with your problems at the form below.
Thank you for taking the time to email me and I am very sorry to hear that you find yourself in such a sad situation. There is nothing worse than having doubts about who you should place your trust in, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
On the very limited information I have it’s hard to really give an honest opinion in detail, so I will have to go on logical thought instead.
I have many angles in which to look at this question, so I will try to be as thorough as I can be.
Firstly, not knowing any previous history in the relationship with your friend, I would like you to take the time to evaluate if she has ever done anything like this before, how far would you go to trusting her and would you have believed her alone if she had come to you about this and your fiancee had not.
Then do the same for him.
Is your gut pointing one way?
I get a few things from this.
Either you have reason to not trust either, or you yourself have trust issues which are causing confusion. Usually in cases like this a girl has a gut feeling on which one is lying and knows them enough to guess. You either know deep down he is lying or she is, but maybe you do not want to really face that truth?
If this is a case of two very loyal people who have no history of betraying you, then I suggest you get them face to face to talk this out. This affects not only your friendship, but your future life with a man you are engaged too and if you truly have no idea then you should make them come together to discuss what happened. If anything, you will clearly see who is the one who is at wrong. Reactions, sides to stories about what actually happened. It may become clearer for you.
I mean there is also a chance that this is a situation in which two parties are equally guilty. Flirting, getting serious and then the fear you will find out, so both point the finger at one another to pass blame.
This is what I mean when I say I see so many answers to this.
In all honesty, you need to bring this out in the open between these two people when you are all present and get it all out on the table. For all you know there were a lot of misread signals, maybe guilt at play and exaggeration. Maybe misunderstanding.
Or maybe you will find that one, or both do not deserve your time or loyalty.
Another thing that I want you to think about is your reaction to him – This is a man you are marrying, yet you have doubts over this. I think you should be asking yourself if you really trust him enough to warrant marriage.
I am sorry that I cannot be more helpful, but I truly hope you resolve this issue and find which person truly deserves to keep you or if you can all move past this.